I’m Sorry But I Loathe Mother’s Day
I hate it. Absolutely hate it.
I’m sorry to say it, especially because I work with new moms, and most of you reading this probably haven’t been worn down yet by the realities of motherhood. I really do want to celebrate with you—but right now, I’m stuck in my own struggle.
There are reasons why I hate this day so much.
My first Mother’s Day was in 2009. I was still deeply grieving the loss of my first baby. Every “Happy Mother’s Day” I heard, every social media post I scrolled past, dug into the wound that I was still carrying. I was full of rage and pain, and I was furious that other people got to celebrate and be happy while I was drowning.
The next year, I was fresh off a round of IVF. I was bruised and exhausted, and yes—I was pregnant—but any of you who’ve had a rainbow baby know that a pregnancy after loss can be far more terrifying than joyful. That year, fear completely outweighed excitement.
By the following Mother’s Day, my baby was about seven months old. He was just starting to settle from his constant crying and screaming, but I was on edge. I hadn’t had a single moment to myself since his birth. Anxiety—undiagnosed at the time—was controlling me, and I simply assumed I was an angry person.
The next few years didn’t get easier. Things settled a little. I got into a groove. But Mother’s Day? It was just another day. Cards, if they came, were forgettable. No one made it special. Year after year, it was the same cycle: quiet disappointment.
At some point, I started outright saying I hated Mother’s Day. I begged to ignore it completely, thinking that might solve the problem. Spoiler: it doesn’t. You can’t ignore Mother’s Day.
Now, divorced with kids who are 13 and 8, I know what to expect: nothing. I know this day won’t be special. And yet, every year, I still wake up with a tiny glimmer of hope—just to be disappointed again.
What makes it even harder is that I work with new moms. I’m surrounded by people celebrating this day with joy, and I feel like a fraud because I can’t join in. Half the time, I can’t even bring myself to respond to Mother’s Day texts. And when I do? Half-hearted at best.
This is not who I want to be. I want to feel joy. I want to celebrate this day. But some years, it’s just too heavy. Some years, I wish I could crawl into a hole and pretend it doesn’t exist.
So I’m writing this as a little act of self-love—and to send love to all of you who dread this day too. You aren’t alone. Knowing that doesn’t make it magically easier, but sometimes, just knowing it’s not just you can help.
Motherhood is complicated. The expectations, the grief, the anxiety—they don’t disappear just because the calendar says “Mother’s Day.” And that’s okay. Give yourself grace. Let yourself feel what you feel, and remember: you are not failing because this day is hard.
I’m Tiff, The Placenta Girl and I’m dedicated to helping new and expecting moms navigate the challenges of the fourth trimester with confidence and support. Curious about how placenta pills can support your recovery, energy, and overall postpartum experience? Click here to learn more and see how placenta encapsulation can help you feel stronger, calmer, and more prepared.
