The New Mom’s Survival Guide to Unsolicited Advice
Congratulations, Girl!
You’re pregnant and about to start the most amazing and wild ride of your life. But as soon as you share your news, it feels like everyone and their mother (literally) suddenly has advice for you. Some of it may help—but most of it will just leave you feeling confused, overwhelmed, and honestly? Annoyed.
Unsolicited advice as a new mom can sting. It often feels like the other person is saying they don’t trust you to make your own choices. Here’s the truth: when someone dishes out unsolicited advice, it’s more about them than it is about you.
So, what actually counts as unsolicited advice? Here’s the real list:
It’s criticism.
It’s intrusive.
It’s condescending.
It’s self-serving.
It’s presumptive.
It’s unhelpful.
And if you’re planning a birth or parenting in a way that isn’t “mainstream,” you’ll likely get even more of it. Suddenly everyone has a horror story, a reason you’re making the “wrong” choice, or a thousand “Yeah, but…” follow-ups to every answer you give. They’ll project their fears onto you and expect you to adjust your plans to make them feel better.
But don’t worry, girlfriend—I’ve got you. Here’s your survival guide for dealing with unsolicited advice during pregnancy:
Smile and Nod
When someone starts in with advice you didn’t ask for, it’s tempting to snap back with sarcasm (trust me, I get it—I’m a sarcasm queen). Instead, take a breath, smile, and nod. A simple “thanks” is enough, even if you’ll never use their advice. You don’t owe anyone explanations or justifications.
Set Boundaries
If the same person keeps pushing, it’s time to set boundaries. Try: “Thanks for your concern, but I’ve done my research and I feel confident in my choices.” Remember: you’re the one growing this baby, which means you get to make the decisions for your body and your family.
Find Your Humans
One of the best antidotes to unwanted advice? Surrounding yourself with people who do support your choices. Look for natural birth groups, prenatal yoga classes, or online spaces filled with like-minded mamas. These communities become safe havens where you can ask questions, vent, and get encouragement from people who truly get it.
Learn Stuff
Knowledge is power. The more you know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum recovery, the more confident you’ll feel in your decisions. Read books, take classes, talk to your care provider (assuming you’ve chosen wisely). And yes—choose resources that align with your values. (For the record, What to Expect When You’re Expecting is the only book I’ve ever literally thrown in the trash.)
When you’re informed, you can respond to unsolicited advice with confidence—and even back it up with evidence when you feel like it.
Trust Your Gut
At the end of the day, no one knows your body and your baby better than you. Your intuition matters. If something feels off, speak up. If something feels right, own it.
Motherhood is a journey—and only you get to decide how to walk it. Don’t let other people’s fears or opinions shake your confidence. Stay strong, stay curious, and stay true to yourself. You’ve got this—and if you ever feel like you don’t, I’ve got you.
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