They lied to us about maternal instinct.
They told us it would just come naturally.
“You’re a mom. You’ll just know what to do.”
Then they send us home with a baby.
No village.
A partner who has to go back to work.
And we’re expected to figure it all out behind closed doors.
They didn’t mention that even though breastfeeding is natural —
The thing that’s literally kept our species alive —
It’s also really fucking hard to figure out.
They didn’t tell us we’d feel clueless.
That every person we know would give us totally different advice.
That we’d be sitting there, leaking through our bra, wondering:
Who do I trust?
What do I believe?
Which boob is next?
And the wild part?
You thought you were prepared.
You had the birth plan.
You read the books.
Signed up for the newsletters.
Stacked the registry.
Researched vaccines, sleep safety, baby food, diapers, baby proofing—
You did the work.
But you believed the rest would come naturally.
Then the shock hits.
You’re blindsided.
Trapped on the couch.
Your baby nurses for an hour, falls asleep, then wakes up screaming ten minutes later.
No one told you you’d have to pee with a baby latched to your boob.
That they’d blow out a diaper twice before noon.
That you’d be the one shaking your partner awake — again.
Or that because you breastfeed, your partner would stop trying to help at all.
And suddenly it hits you:
Oh shit. This is all on me.
And this is not easy.
But they led us to believe it would be.
They needed us to believe it would be.
So we’d stay quiet.
So we’d feel ashamed.
So we wouldn’t ask for help.
So we’d smile through it.
So the next round of moms would sign up.
Because they still need us making babies.
More workers. More consumers.
More fuel for the system.
Yeah. Maternal instinct?
It’s a lie.
Motherhood is learned.
And the problem is, we don’t have a village to teach us anymore.
So we turn to Instagram.
To 2 a.m. Google searches.
To Facebook groups full of strangers.
Because we’re desperate for answers.
Our partners?
They could learn too.
But the maternal instinct myth tells them it’s not their job.
It’s ours.
And then they look at us and say:
Why is this so hard for you?
What’s wrong with you?
Do you need medication?
It’s fucked up.
And it’s not you.
It’s the system.
Stick around — for truth, for tools, for solidarity.
Let’s smash the system.
Fuck norms.
Mom as you are.
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