Why Even the Most Prepared moms Struggle Postpartum

Aug 1

You’ve done the reading. You’ve made the spreadsheets. You’ve researched every product on your baby registry down to the organic cotton thread in the swaddles. You’ve meal-prepped, hired a doula, maybe even designed a Pinterest-worthy postpartum wardrobe.

You are not the mom who wings it. You are the mom who prepares.

And that’s precisely why postpartum can feel like such a slap in the face.

Because the awful truth is that postpartum doesn’t reward the most prepared. It tests every single one of us…and it’s actually often a lot harder for those of us who do at least attempt to prepare.

Because the awful truth is that postpartum doesn’t reward the most prepared. It tests every single one of us… and honestly? It can hit harder for those of us who do try to prepare.

Why?

Because when you’ve spent your whole life believing that preparation equals success—when that equation has actually worked for you in school, in work, in relationships—it’s jarring to realize that motherhood doesn’t play by those rules.

You make the plan. You check the boxes. You build the nursery, take the classes, read the books—and you still end up crying on the floor three weeks postpartum wondering if you’ve ruined your life.

This doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’ve walked into a season of life that isn’t a problem to solve—it’s a total identity shift.

And the system doesn’t care how much you prepped. It only cares that you keep producing, smiling, and staying small.

Postpartum is not a personality test. It’s not a punishment. It’s not a reflection of how strong you are or how much you love your baby. It’s a physiological, psychological, hormonal earthquake.

And no amount of planning can fully insulate you from that shift—unless your plan includes the right kind of support.

So let’s talk about it.

There’s No Real Way to Prepare

We live in a world without a village. If we had that village everyone’s always scsreaming about, you would have grown up watching women go through pregnancy, early labor, breastfeeding, and everything in between. You would have built-in mentors. Instead, you’re navigating all of this for the very first time—even if you babysat, taught preschool, or worked as a nanny.

Being a mom is different when it's your baby.

Long story short: there is no real way to prepare for postpartum.

And I know that probably sounds wild coming from someone like me—whose literal job is to help moms prep for postpartum and avoid the crash. But the thing is that postpartum preparation has to look different. It has to go deeper than classes and checklists.

Because when the cultural script says: "Take a class, buy the stuff, follow the influencers, and you’ll be fine"—it's lying to you. It's skipping the part where even the most prepared moms get hit with things they didn’t see coming.

The Invisible Risk Factors No One Talks About

We also live in a world where at least 20% of mothers are hit with a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder. I say at least because so many of us are suffering in silence. Unreported. Undiagnosed. Misunderstood.

These women are not imagining it. We’re not overreacting. And we’re definintely not broken.

We're mothering alone in a society that leaves us with no real support and says "You got this, mama!"

Let me take a sec here to name some of the risk factors for postpartum anxiety or depression (some may surprise you):

Neurodivergence (ADHD, autism, etc.)
Perfectionism and Type A tendencies
Executive function challenges (losing track of time, disorganization, etc.)
Introversion
Prior loss (miscarriage, stillbirth, or infertility)
Recent move or big life change
Relationship strain
Mental health history (your own or family)

As you can see, most of us have at least a couple of these risk factors. They’re common. But if no one helps you name them ahead of time, in the context of postpartum, you end up feeling ambushed when things get hard.

And for so many of us, it’s not just the baby that’s new. It’s the experience of being completely, overwhelmingly responsible with zero margin, zero map, and zero backup.

Why the System Sets You Up to Struggle

We moms are not the problem.

The system is.

We live in a society that:

Prioritizes capitalism over care
Offers no guaranteed paid parental leave
Normalizes sleep-deprived martyrdom
Gaslights new moms into thinking this is all just part of the deal

This system expects you to birth a baby, bleed for weeks, feed another human from your body, and keep the house running with no village, no time, and no recovery plan.

When new moms feel overwhelmed, it’s not because we didn’t do enough prepare. It’s because we’ve built motherhood on the backs of women who aren’t allowed to rest.

So yes, you’ve probably taken a breastfeeding class. Built a beautiful nursery. Followed the experts. Made the checklist. Bought the books.

But until you’re in it, you don’t know what you’ll need. And by then, it can feel like it’s too late.

Real Preparation Starts With You

For the Type-A, perfectionist, "give me the plan" moms reading this: you’ve already done more prep than 99% of moms.

So let’s make it count.

Here’s what real postpartum prep looks like:

1. Hormone Support

Your hormones will crash. And when they do, it can feel like a freefall. Placenta encapsulation isn’t a cure-all, but it can support that transition with mood stabilization, improved energy, and increased milk supply for many moms.

It’s a small, simple step that can make a huge difference.

2. Nervous System Support

Your body is doing so much. And still, the world expects you to smile and power through.

Instead, you need:

Quiet, dark, calm spaces
Help that doesn’t make you feel guilty
Emotional regulation tools

Forget being strong. Be supported.

3. Mental Load Reduction

Even in 2025, guess who’s still remembering the diaper bag, the pediatrician appointments, and the grocery list?

Yep. It’s still moms.

That’s why we create an Individualized Postpartum Plan that:

Divides responsibilities clearly
Uses the Fair Play method to manage expectations
Includes scripts for hard convos (so you don’t carry all the emotional labor)

The habits and systems we fall into as a new moms tend to stick. Even if they don’t serve us. Even if they slowly unravel our sanity.

Why? Because you’re exhausted. You’re raw. And because whatever works right now becomes the default. Even if it’s unsustainable in the long run.

So if you don’t set things up with intention—from who’s doing the dishes to how your nervous system gets a break—then unintentional patterns form. And unintentional patterns are a bitch to undo.

That’s why postpartum planning isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating space and structure before the fog rolls in, so the systems you land in are systems that can support you.

4. Identity Integration

You are more than a feeding machine.

You’re a whole person in the midst of a massive transition. You deserve space to:

Name your new needs
Protect time for the things that bring you joy
Stay connected to your sense of self

We don’t wait until you’re drowning. We plan for your wholeness now.

Why Planning for You is the Most Loving Thing You Can Do

I know your instinct is to give everything to your baby. That’s not wrong.

But the most powerful gift you can give your child is a mother who feels supported, grounded, and present.

When you create a postpartum plan centered around your needs, you’re not being selfish. You’re being strategic.

You’re setting yourself up to:

Heal more fully
Bond more deeply
Transition with clarity instead of chaos

You Deserve Support That Meets Your Standards

Listen, you’re not new to prepping. You planned your registry within an inch of its life. You follow all the right people. You’re not here for fluff.

You want tools that work.

That’s why I built the More Than Just the Pills package. It’s not a rescue plan. It’s an upgrade to what you’ve already done. You get:

Placenta encapsulation for hormonal support
A custom postpartum plan tailored to your life
Strategy sessions to handle the real-life stuff
Unlimited voice/text support so you’re never alone in the hard moments

You don’t have to do this alone.

Let’s Build a Plan That Holds YOU

You’ve done 90% of the prep. Let me help you with the part no one talks about—the part that makes the rest of it work.

Book a free consult now. We’ll chat about your birth month, your risk factors, and the best strategy for getting you through postpartum feeling grounded, resourced, and (dare I say?) even a little joyful.

You already know things might not go exactly as planned. That’s not the point.

The point is having a plan that’s strong enough to bend, and support that’s strong enough to hold you.

Let’s create your rough draft. Let’s get you as prepared as you can be—so when the wild parts hit, you’re not starting from zero.