Postpartum isn’t hard because you’re doing it wrong — it’s hard because you’re doing it alone.

They lied to you about postpartum.

They say, “Let me know if you need anything.”

And maybe they mean it.

But having to ask makes you feel like a loser.

Like you’re too weak.
Too needy.
Too disorganized.
Too sensitive.
Too ungrateful.
Too demanding.
Too much of a fuck-up to have had a baby.

So you don’t ask.
You figure it out. On your own.

Because that’s what strong people do.
That’s what “good” moms do.
That’s what feminists do, right?
They figure it out. Alone.

Because we don’t want to bother anyone.
Because we should be able to do this.
Because that’s what we were told.

So you ask yourself:

What’s wrong with me?
Maybe I really am too much.
Too needy.
Too messy.
Too emotional.
Too ungrateful.
Too demanding.
Too broken to be a mom.

What was I thinking?
I’m a shitty mom.
I can’t manage this.
Why is it so much harder for me than it is for everyone else?

But guess what?

There is nothing wrong with you.
You’re amazing.
And your baby is so smart to have chosen you.

You’re learning together. And you will figure it out.

But you shouldn't have to do it like this.

You’re learning how to be a mom in a world that has completely abandoned you.

It takes at least 40 days to begin healing from pregnancy and childbirth —
but we’re out here being told to bounce back
into our jeans,
into our jobs,
into some made-up idea of normal.

We’re trying to survive postpartum in a world that offers:

– No paid leave
– No affordable childcare
– No mental health support
– No village

Just a bottle of wine and “Let us know if you need anything.”

And then... they disappear.

Not because they don’t care —
but because no one taught them how to show up for new moms.

Especially if they’ve never been one.
Especially if they were raised in a culture that worships independence.
That says needing help means you're weak.
That says if you’re struggling, it must be your fault.

Because look — that mom over there seems fine.
She’s back at work.
She’s juggling it all.
She’s doing baby-led weaning and making her own oat milk.

So what’s wrong with you?

Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

What’s wrong is the system.

No one taught your partner how to be a real partner.
No one prepared you for the reality of postpartum.
No one held space for your rage. Your grief. Your exhaustion.

Your milk-stained, sleep-deprived, stretched-to-the-limit heart that is bursting every second with fierce, bone-deep love for the baby you wanted so badly. The baby you love so deeply.

Of course you need help.
Of course you need someone to cry to.
Of course you need someone to hold your screaming baby while you take a damn shower.

That’s not weakness.

That’s being human.

You’re not a burden.
You’re unsupported.

This system was never built to support mothers.
It was built on colonialism, white supremacy, capitalism, and patriarchy —
systems that idolize independence and shame interdependence.

Systems that whisper,
“If you can’t handle it, you shouldn’t have had a baby.”

But fuck that.
We need a new system.

So let’s build it. Together.