Wait, What? I Gotta Build My Own Village?
Yep, here’s the harsh truth: in today’s world—at least here in the US—you’re probably going to have to build your own damn postpartum village. Super lame, right? Yes, it adds another thing to your already endless to-do list, but here’s the kicker: if you don’t build it, no one shows up. And trust me—that sucks way worse than putting in the effort.
But don’t panic. I’m here to help you start building your team and make sure the right people are in your corner when your baby arrives. And yes, if you’re a South Jersey mom, I’m talking about including support for things like placenta encapsulation in your plan—because having those placenta pills ready and safely processed is a game-changer for postpartum recovery.
Let’s break it down.
When you’re thinking about who belongs on your support team, consider these qualities:
Empathy: People who really get what postpartum feels like. They understand your emotional rollercoaster, your anxiety, your exhausted brain.
Non-Judgmental: No lectures, no comparisons, no “well I did it this way” BS. Just support.
Availability: Someone who will actually show up, whether that’s helping with baby, chores, or just listening without rolling their eyes.
Active Listening: They don’t interrupt or try to fix you. They just hear you and respond thoughtfully.
Practical Help: Meal prep, errands, folding laundry—whatever takes a load off your plate.
Reliable & Trustworthy: You can count on them. They don’t flake. They keep your secrets.
Positive Energy: People who lift you up instead of dragging you down.
Knowledgeable: Ideally, folks who get postpartum realities—breastfeeding, infant care, emotional swings, hormonal chaos (yes, placenta pills can help here!).
Flexible: Life is messy. You need people who can roll with it.
Respectful of Boundaries: They respect your space, your rules, and your parenting choices.
Once you have a list of potential helpers, think about how they’ve shown up before. Did they really help when you were stressed, in the middle of a crisis, or planning a big event? Past behavior predicts future support, so don’t just guess.
Next, consider their willingness to learn. Are they curious about how you want your postpartum journey to look? Or do they insist on doing things their way? The right people are flexible and ready to adapt to what YOU need, not what worked for them 20 years ago.
Look at how they themselves are supported. People with strong support systems are more likely to be reliable and grounded when you need them. People who never got help might struggle to know how to show up. Not because they’re bad humans—they just don’t know the ropes.
Your partner? They’re critical. They need to be involved now—birth classes, breastfeeding prep, learning your postpartum needs—so that after the baby comes, they can actually help instead of becoming another source of stress. And if they’re not currently contributing to household management, you better start that conversation now. Don’t wait for baby #1 to force the issue.
What if you have no one? I feel you. It’s brutal. But here’s your reality: you can find support.
Local community resources like South Jersey parenting groups, postpartum circles, or volunteer networks.
Online support networks for new parents and postpartum mental health.
Organizations & nonprofits that provide hands-on help or advice.
Professional support—therapists, counselors, social workers specializing in postpartum mental health.
Don’t just “wing it” through your fourth trimester. Too many moms struggle unnecessarily with postpartum depression and anxiety because they assume everyone else has their shit together. Building a support team, including trusted providers for placenta encapsulation and postpartum recovery, can make a world of difference.
