Nightime Parenting Isn’t a Solo Gig
I realize some of you might already be bristling, ready to tell me about how your husband walks two hours a day to work, uphill both ways, barefoot, and therefore deserves his sleep. If that’s you, then you probably aren’t in the right space for this message — and that’s okay. You can hit unsubscribe at the bottom of this email.
I’m happy for you. Truly. And if I’m being honest, a little envious too.
But I’m not talking to you.
I’m talking to the moms who are so sleep-deprived that it physically hurts. The ones who fantasize about taking your foot and shoving your partner off the bed because he’s sleeping soundly while you’ve been up shushing, bouncing, patting, and nursing for the 57th time.
Yeah, you. I’m talking to you.
Resentment is dangerous. It will eat away at your relationship. John Gottman, the relationship expert, identified four habits that increase divorce likelihood — and resentment is one of them.
I wish someone had grabbed me by the shoulders and said this to me in no uncertain terms. But no one did. And I suffered. For years. And now I’m divorced. So here I am, saying it to you: Wake his ass up.
Yes. WAKE HIM UP.
It doesn’t matter that you’re breastfeeding. It doesn’t matter that he has work tomorrow. It doesn’t matter what kind of reaction he’ll have.
It’s not okay for you to shoulder the entire nighttime parenting responsibility.
Sharing nighttime duties is good for him. It’s good for your baby. And it’s good for your relationship. Sleep is essential for your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Your baby needs a healthy, rested parent — and so do you. When both of you participate at night, burnout is prevented, anxiety is lowered, and you’re more likely to stay connected as a couple. Bonus: more sleep = less resentment = more intimacy = stronger relationship.
Encouraging your partner to participate empowers them as a parent. They build confidence and competence. Your child learns to rely on both parents. Everyone wins.
It also challenges gender norms, showing your child that caregiving isn’t “women’s work.” You’re modeling equality, respect, and cooperation — lessons your child will carry forward.
A few things to make it work:
Have a conversation ahead of time. Set a plan for nighttime duties.
Use tools like the Fair Play documentary on Hulu to structure shared responsibility.
Start small. Even one night where he takes over a feed or diaper change can shift the dynamic.
Celebrate progress — give positive reinforcement when he participates.
If you want to take it a step further, consider integrating placenta encapsulation in South Jersey into your postpartum recovery routine. Many new moms find that placenta pills help with energy levels, mood stability, and hormone regulation — which makes surviving the night shifts and maintaining your sanity a little easier.
Motherhood is freaking hard. But it doesn’t have to destroy your relationship. Wake him up. Set the boundaries. Share the load. Your mental health, your relationship, and your baby all depend on it.
I’m Tiff, The Placenta Girl and I’m dedicated to helping new and expecting moms navigate the challenges of the fourth trimester with confidence and support. Curious about how placenta pills can support your recovery, energy, and overall postpartum experience? Click here to learn more and see how placenta encapsulation can help you feel stronger, calmer, and more prepared.
