An Ode to Cleaning And Organizing
I love cleaning and organizing. But more than that, I love that feeling I get after I’ve cleaned and organized.
But when my babies were little, I didn’t take the time to clean and organize. And it really fucked me up.
Because I like to do the dishes.
I like to fold the laundry.
I like to organize shit.
And I love to vacuum.
When I vacuum I can get my brain to shut the fuck up.
I can be present. Without. Trying.
The act of cleaning and organizing is literally good for my mental health.
But people don’t seem to understand that.
Because when my babies were little, and I would mention being stressed about needing to “get stuff done,” the feedback I’d get was super not helpful. Literally no one even came close to suggesting anything that would even remotely solve my problem.
“The dishes can wait.” Motherfucker. I know they can. I don’t want them to.
“Just let him play alone while you get stuff done.” Bitch my kid doesn’t play alone.
“Oh, someday your house will be clean and quiet, and you’ll miss this.” Okay, they were right on this one.
Looking back now from “someday,” I do miss it. All the time.
But I would only back and do it again if I knew I would take the time to clean and organize. Because foregoing cleaning and organizing, and instead putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own, was not good for my mental health.
And I would have been a better mom if I had taken the time to clean and organize.
But the problem is that I need long stretches for that. I can’t enjoy cleaning and organizing when there’s a countdown timer in the back of my head. Deadlines stress me the fuck out. I mean, I need a FULL day for cleaning and organizing. Like my dream day would be wake up, have my coffee, make my plan, get started, and then suddenly the sun is down and I realize I haven’t eaten, showered, or brushed my teeth…
but my house is fucking clean and organized.
And the best part is I’m the one who did it. Alone... For the whole day.
But now I don’t want to jump right back into mom mode. I want to enjoy the fruits of my labor. And I’m not ready to be climbed on.
You know how in the movies where as soon as the mom sits down to breath after a busy day and the kids and the fucking bald dad all come barging in acting like assholes and instead of being fucking pissed like I would be, she’s all smiles and shaking her head all slowly and giving hugs because “who needs alone time when you’ve got all this?”
But anyway, after this beautiful day of cleaning and organizing… I want a nice long uninterrupted shower. I want to read a book. Relax in peace. Drink hot tea. I want to enjoy my clean and organized house. And then… I want to kiss my kids goodnight. Go to bed. Alone. And sleep til morning.
And then I’ll go back to my regular life. Because I love my life. I love being a mom.
But man… If I could have had a day like that maybe once a month, I would have enjoyed it more. I would have been a healthier mom. A more present mom.
I wish I’d taken the time to clean and organize.
Who feels me here?
What's your "thing"? What's your personal version of cleaning and organizing? The thing that quiets your brain and lets your whole body exhale?
What do you need in order to feel grounded, regulated, and like yourself again?
What do you wish you had more of right now?
Time?
Support?
Silence?
Autonomy?
Something else?
What piece of your pre-mom life do you miss because it fed your soul?
If you could design your dream day, what would it look like from start to finish?
Are you giving yourself any of those things?
Are you giving yourself even one of those things?
If not, why not?
What's in the way?
PS: A note about placenta pills.
When my babies were little, I wish I had known this. You can't access your "thing" if you don't have a baseline.
You need your hormones in check. You need energy. You need to feel calm and balanced. You need a regulated nervous system. You need some sense of internal stability.
And one of the simplest, most natural ways to keep yourself from getting behind the eight ball is by taking your placenta pills.
Your placenta pills can help you avoid getting so deep into a hole that it feels really hard to dig out of it.
Placenta pills aren't a magical postpartum fix, but they do give you more of YOU back... You have the capacity to do the things that regulate you, ground you, and keep you sane.
If you're pregnant and curious, I'd love to walk you through it. Shoot me a message. Or click the link in my bio to learn more.
